world cup spoiler alert (in case you're tivo-ing it for later tonight)

"gol! gol! gol! gol! gol!"

this is what makes watching world cup on telemundo much better than watching it on espn or abc. these commentators rock. well, that and the commercials are a lot better. if the US airs one more AIG commercial, i swear ....

so anyway, we're in the last few moments of the match between germany and argentina. going into the game, i was pro-argentina (i know, maradona should probably be the reason i'm not, but reading about the guy is like reading a real-life soap opera and i've got to thank him for that).

and alemania takes it. final score 1(4) - 1(2) in a shoot-out.

it was a good game. but oh c'mon now, what's this? grown men fighting? fifa officials having to step in and separate the teams? ridiculous.

at the same time, seeing the disappointmnet on the faces of these guys makes even the thought (no matter how true) of "it's just a game" seem like the last thing that should even cross my mind. there are tears, there are blank stares, there is absolute silence from those fans shrouded in blue and white, their bodies frozen in disbelief, not ready yet to move on and accept the defeat of their dreams to realize a world cup championship. no, it's not just a game.

for these guys or for anyone else who cares.

that's something about men that i really appreciate. this brotherhood. this side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder love that they have for one another.

i'm reading this book called love and respect about how women want unconditional love and how men want unconditional respect. i argue with the author a lot out loud in my room while i'm reading it, guffawing at parts i find absolutely ludicrous (especially to my 21st century liberal feminist mind), but often - in spite of myself - coaching myself to continue reading, if not just to challenge and expand my own mind (to be completely honest, it's been a really really good read for me, and i'd suggest it to anyone like me who grew up in a family of girls).

the author (eggerichs) writes about men and their love for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship, how they develop bonds with other boys when they're young and how those male relationships have a large part in defining the kind of men they become.

eggerichs writes, "women share experiences by talking about them to each other, examining and infusing the experiences with their impressions and emotions. men are different. they share their experiences by sharing an activity."

he goes on to share a piece of research i hope you find as interesting as i did:

research studies confirm the male preference for shoulder-to-shoulder communication with little or no talking. in one study, researchers performed a series of tests on males and females from four age groups: second graders, sixth graders, tenth graders, and 25-year-olds. instructions for each pair of females and each pair of males were exactly the same: enter a room, sit down on two chairs, and talk, if you wish.

as the test proceeded, every pair of females, no matter what their ages, reacted the same way. they turned their chairs toward each other, so they could be face to face, lean forward and talk. the males reacted differently. they did not turn toward each other in any way. they sat side by side, shoulder to shoulder, looking straight ahead except for an occasional glance at each other.

because the females turned toward each other or literally turned their chairs to face one another for direct, face-to-face contact, the researchers assumed they would have the most intimate conversations. actually, the most open and transparent of all the pairs, male or female, were the tenth grade boys.

very cool. this is something i am trying to learn how to appreciate. when i'm alone with someone else, i want to talk about experiences, to identify, to draw out thoughts and feelings. i think that's good and healthy, but it's not the only way. and to watch a soccer match and see the emotion and comraderie in that, wow, it makes me feel like men communicate in an equally beautiful - but totally unique - way. good job, men.

and congratulations to argentina. way to play like it's not just a game. you should be proud.

and to germany: the way you love your keeper is the only reason that i feel okay with you winning today. i appreciate your show of emotion. that and the really cool bowling pin knock-down you acted out after your win. that was clever.