allison vs. ann taylor

in june of this year, my friend allison wrote me an email that has long remained one of my favorite email rants. now, for those of you who know allison, you know she is not at all a frequent ranter, and yet, this note so perfectly captures this rarely seen side of her. it's too wonderful not to share at large.*

*i've asked permission, of course. so lest you think i'll post whatever you send to my inbox, please know that i'd refrain from such activity until we've spoken.

Why I Hate Ann Taylor
an essay by Allison

I've recently come to the conclusion that Ann Taylor has become my arch nemisis. I don't think I spelled "nemisis" correctly but I have to tell you I couldn't care less. Perhaps it's spelled "nemesis" or maybe even "nemamis". Either way, I'm moving on. I feel like a comic book character that goes through life feeling like a little girl who just got the last orange popsicle from the ice cream truck and then, every 18th page or so, she meets her enemy...Ann Taylor. It is at that moment that the normally docile heroine finds herself changing her friendly grin to a disgusted glare.

Why is it that of all the stores on the face of this earth, Ann Taylor has to be the one that carries clothes that fit me? Not only that, but some of them I even like and wouldn't rather, say, pluck my eyebrows down to nothing than put on my body. This is discouraging. I have scoured the racks of so many stores it makes my head spin to think about it. After all that time spent trying to pay less than a small fortune for a summer wardrobe, I find myself in the dressing room of Ann Taylor with more clothes than I know what to do with. This situation perplexes me. In fact, yesterday it had me in tears. I can't buy my clothes at a store that charges 35 dollars for a tank top. I think I have reached an impasse in the world of fashion and will be stuck wearing these same clothes for the rest of my life.

Since I don't have a blog, I felt it would be okay to share those thoughts with you :) It's obviously not a literary masterpiece but I'm limited to 15 minutes on a library computer. Not that I could produce a literary masterpiece without those limitations but you get the point. Seriously, i'm developing a love/hate relationship with a store. That's pathetic.

Ugh.

Allison, here's to tank tops at $5 a pop that actually fit. I love you.