weekend details

it's been a busy weekend.

starting early friday morning (for a non-worker, that is), jon and i visited the pancake house with paul and kristi, two of the more well-traveled students i've ever met. they were on their way out of town, bringing paul back to bethel in st.paul after a summer in tibet and sending kristi off to swaziland for the year.

i've met paul only a handful of times and this was just my second conversation with kristi, but i so enjoyed hanging out with them that the idea of not seeing them for awhile is pretty disappointing. still - and even if this sounds cheesy - it's pretty incredible to get to meet people who you have such an easy time celebrating. that feels like a gift from god.

later that afternoon, jon and i drove to milwaukee to see our friends sara and matt. the last time i'd seen them was at new year's when they trekked down to chicago for my little bash, so a whole evening of finesilver fun had been long anticipated. i think one of the things i so appreciate about them as a couple is how prioritized their lives seem. what i mean to say is that their couple vibe, as i'll call it, seems fully nonjudgmental. for example, on the way out of madison, jon reminded me to grab a long-sleeved shirt just in case it got cold, so i picked out my favorite one, which unfortunately, must have been thrown in the same load chapstick-washed laundry and so has a couple of wax-y spots. but it's still my favorite. the thing is, i can wear a spotty shirt to dinner at my friends' house because i a) don't think they'd even notice and b) don't think they'd think twice. it may seem like a little thing, but i've spent a lot of time with people who might care (not that they're not allowed - i fully understand the idea behind dressing nicely), so just getting to be FULLY casual feels really fun to me. their non-judgmental-ness shows up in lots of other places too - in conversation about anything, really, when they just seem to appreciate people's thoughts. they're deep thinkers, and being in conversation with people who care about people even more than the things that they're really passionate about is a pretty unique thing. thanks, friends.

the next morning, we left early to have breakfast with laura at alterra. laura, as you know if you've read this blog for any length of time, was an old roommate of mine from college. i've known her for 8 years now, which seems absolutely crazy to me, and feel pretty dang lucky that our friendship has continued to grow and develop over these years. she's a published writer and has a life that should be recorded and sold and on the new york times best seller list. it's fun to be a part of her life.

afterwards, jon and i took a walk out on lake michigan where we learned again how to better argue with each other. i have to say that that may be one of the best signs of the growth in our relationship. i'd always rather avoid conflict, but unfortunately, i have the kind of personality that likes to initiate it (it's my flair for the dramatic, i think). anyway, there was something about our conversation on saturday that felt GOOD. even in the midst of minor conflict, i felt like, yes! this is how you argue! yes!

i just didn't know you could learn so much in one relationship, you know?

so we drove back to madison, and i tried to sleep in the car a bit since i still felt pretty exhausted. i think we've both been tired the last few days - due both to the lack of sleep and the lack of doing the things that energize us the most. like jon needs exercise - a good run or bike ride - to think, i need to journal. i actually like to think that you can tell if his head is clear by how much he's sweat the same way you can tell if my head is clear by how much i've written.

sunday afternoon, then, while jon went for a long bike ride, i drove out to the arboretum, threw down a blanket and spent some time journaling in the fellowship of crickets, ants, and butterflies.

it feels good to know what can make you feel like a whole person again.

while i was out, i read my little oswald chambers book. i've tried reading this devotional a couple of times, but his writing style has never been something i'd thought beautiful enough to stick with ... until sunday. so that's what i want to share with you:

"He that believeth in Me ... out of him shall flow ..." (John 7:38)
Jesus did not say - "he that believeth in Me shall realize the blessing of the fullness of God," but - "he that believeth in Me out of him shall escape everything he receives." Our Lord's teaching is always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a man; His purpose is to make man exactly like Himself, and the characteristic of the Son of God is self-expenditure. If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that counts. It is not that God makes us beautifully rounded grapes, but that He squeezes the sweetness out of us. Spiritually, we cannot measure our life by success, but only by what God pours through us, and we cannot measure that at all.

i'm still thinking about this, still reveling in the beauty of how it's written and what it implies. i keep seeing that one sentence in my head, and it seems especially appropriate at this time of year, when wineries begin to welcome folks to their grape-stomping festivals. and i think about what violet beauregarde looked like, all big and blueberryish. i don't want to be a big round fruit. i don't want to soak it all in and never let it out. i want to be squeezed.

anyway ... seeing jon after we both felt refreshed was heavenly. i love learning that, too. he is kind to me in so many ways. when i'm exhausted and crabby, i just don't see that. clearing my mind is good on so many levels. i realize i probably can't go on and on about him here, but he is a good man. and i wish for the world's sake that there were more people like him.

that evening, we went over to sara's new apartment and had an awesome dinner with peter, kara, sara, and joanna. and then got to take all them and sara's roommates out to mini-golf.

i love that just writing those two lines makes my heart feel full. do you ever think about a night that just makes you want to whisper into god's ear and tell him how much you love people? and then he laughs, and whispers back to you how much he loves them, too? and then you just laugh with him because joy! you both love people!?

my dream of heaven looks a little like that. like throwing a big party where everyone dresses up and eats incredible food and dances to music and plays games and walks out on balconies over looking cities and gazes at stars. and me and god get to watch them and talk about them and feel like, yeah, look how much fun they're having!

okay, i realize i'm totally digressing. i really need to not drink so much coffee while i'm writing my blog ...

anyway, i hope your weekend was as wonderful.