the after-party.

i've delayed blogging because the first sentence out of my head to introduce my topic includes the word "hate" - and this makes me feel uncomfortable because a) it's a brand new year and i don't want "hate" to be the second blog word of 2007 and b) because the word hate is so strong i want to make sure i really need to use it. that said ...

i hate the after-party.

for new year's eve this year, some of jon's best college friends (who also happen to be people i love as well) chanced to be in town and landed at my place for the evening. from lunch on sunday with jon and jared to late night cards with jon, jared, and paul yesterday, i felt full for a good 36 hours.

i love people. i love them. i love watching them interact, i love them sitting in my home and talking or watching the rose bowl or questioning career paths or debating abby's feelings about north korea. i love being with people.

and when they leave? oh ... when they go away and my house is quiet again, i feel like my home left me. and i hate it. i just crash. it's the closest i can imagine to what it's like to be an empty nesting parent.

i don't care if i have to spend money to have a party, or if i have to clean my house only to have it get dirty again within minutes. i would clean up after them forever if it meant they could stay longer. besides, my friends don't even make me clean up after them!

red wine was spilled on the floor. did i even clean up a drop? not one! they did it. and did i have to make the chocolate for the fountain? no! jon did it!

my friends are generous. they came with bottles of wine! champagne! apple pie! cakes and pettifours, veggies and cheeses, crackers and hummus! they sit down with people they've never met and strike up a conversation. they learn how to love.

i'm proud of them. i'm proud to know them. i'm proud to be a witness to their lives.

when they leave, i cry for awhile. because it's like getting a taste of heaven and then being told you have to go back to earth for some time yet.

but since this is a new year, and since i don't want to leave on a note of just hating what happens after the party, i'll tell you that i love my friends. i'm lucky. i'm thankful. and that's really all that needs to be said.