finest hour

a friend introduced me to nina simone two years ago during a period when we regularly swapped favorite cds. i wouldn't say it was love at first listen; i hadn't been brought up to appreciate ms. simone's type of jazz. but over time, her music became the companion i had until then only dreamed about, the kind of music that isn't simply a soundtrack for a memorable moment or the background noise that shuts everything out so you can record said memorable moment in your journal.

no, ms. simone's music is the kind that demands your attention, the kind you should listen to with your eyes closed, the kind that should usher out your own anxieties and worries and dance around in your head, the kind that should be really listened to. it's the kind of music appropriate for tonight.

after middle school youth group tonight, i was feeling worn out, my throat sore from the midwest's drastic changes in temperature in the past week, my head pounding, and my interaction abilities at an all-time low after a week of group activities. so while everyone else headed towards the union for drinks, i steered home in the quiet rain, eager for me-time.

typical me-time begins with candles. i am a candle-aholic. i love still flames. i love all the light just one little candle can make in a dark room. i have four lit now, two candlesticks and two pillars. i have a cup of hazelnut vanilla tea. and i have nina simone on the stereo. she's only singing out of one speaker since the other got busted in the move, but she sounds just as beautiful.

did you ever see "before sunset"? it's richard linklater's sequel to "before sunrise" with julie delpy and ethan hawke. towards the end, julie delpy invites ethan hawke up for a cup of tea, and plays nina simone. it's julie delpy's impression of ms. simone that i first see when i listen to this cd - she acts a little drunk, her arms bent at the elbow and her hands swinging like puppets from her wrists. she shuffles across the floor, murmuring a bit, lost in the music.

that's how i want to be tonight. just a little lost here under my covers, my candles lit, my tea soothing my throat, and my mind tuned in only to ms. simone.

let me know if you need a night like this. i'll send you my cd.

good night, all.