Wednesday, June 06, 2007

off the blogroll.

i received an email last week from my good friend laura warning me that i'm about to be removed from her blogroll ... so i think it's only fair that i write an "aloha" blog, a piece that lets my remaining blog audience of, well, laura, know that i'm exiting the blogosphere for a little while but hope to return to the world of the written word after i've conquered some of these big hurdles currently in my path.

i'm not sure if "hurdle" is actually the right word, to be honest. because "hurdle" implies that these things are jumpable, and while some of them are, most others are certainly - and thankfully - not.

for example, work has me involved in the move of our current building of 40,000 square feet into a building three times that size. so i get to be part of the process of determining finishes and furnishings (fun) and keeping the clipboard of all other odds and ends (not fun). if you've ever helped manage a move this size - and have only done it as part of your job - you know how ridiculously huge the task is. really, the more i have to think about, the more i feel like i'm no longer thinking. that's the hard part. i'm nearly certain that the amount of detail stuffed in my mind will result in an early onslaught of alzheimer's. i'm nearly certain.

to be fair, it might not seem so overwhelming if i weren't trying to juggle so many other plates. be warned, friends, that if you plan on getting married, you're doing more than preparing to spend your life with the one you love; you're actually accepting a second job. tell me, who has time in their schedule to visit reception sites? to book hotels? to call the tent rental company for the third time to confirm that they are actually going to send her the invoice so she can PAY them? or to not only remember that she needs to send her best friend the brown paint color swatch so she can buy a bridesmaid dress but also go to the post office and buy a ridiculously overpriced 41 cent forever stamp and put the swatch in the mail? who can do all of this?

but while we're spinning plates, let me add another. jon & i just bought a house. it's great - we love it. it's a pale yellow 1950s 3-bedroom ranch with hardwood floors throughout. since our closing on the 31st, we've been painting the kitchen at night, and i've been packing up my apartment in the mornings before i leave for work because i'll move in this friday. our first mortgage payment is due july 1st, and because i've never paid that much for rent in my life, the idea of paying a mortgage that big regularly has so overwhelmed me that it affects most of my thinking. which is a really good thing, i think. i'm forced to put into practice all the things i've been reading about in "the irresistible revolution" and all the things i've been learning from friends who live simply, who live in a way that acknowledges that this isn't it.

i think it's okay to buy a house. in fact, i think it's a good thing. i'm excited to have a home that can be a gathering place for friends, for strangers, for neighbors and the like. i'm excited to live in a home with the man i love most and share our dreams and our pots and pans and our bed together. i think that's great. but it's a new world - a world of gardening and mowing and light fixture changing and painting - and it costs money. so i've become even more conscious of my lifestyle habits. sure, i cut back to one latte a week from the 5 i was enjoying per week in chicago. but now i've cut back to just a small cup of coffee once a week. i know it doesn't seem like a big deal, and it's hardly life changing. but i think it's easy to spend money thoughtlessly, and i don't want to live like that. i mean, i don't want to live caring a lot about money either. i don't want to pinch pennies. i just want to live in response to what i believe about life. i want to live responsibly.

hmmm ... i know i'm getting off the subject. i'm the queen of bunny trails these days. my thoughts go in one direction while my point is 180 degrees the other way.

what was point again?

really, what was my point ...

it doesn't matter. my mind is a mess. i've turned 78 even before i've blown out the 27 candles that will be on my cake this july.

and that's why this blog is my aloha blog, my see-you-soon blog, my let-me-save-you-from-reading-the-jumbled-mess-of-gobbly-gook my-scattered-brain-will- probably-produce-in-the-next-few-months blog.

i may post pictures of my incredibly precious niece or nephew to-be when baby is born within the next week or two. and i may post a few brief comments while jon's in honduras this summer. and well, i'll actually post another blog in a second with a link to the sermon jon preached over memorial day (i can't even begin to describe how proud i am of this man). but besides all that, this blog may remain a bit empty. so if you like, laura, i won't be offended if you take me off your blogroll for a season.



At 7:00 PM, Blogger Teresa said...

oh i'm so bummed! i will miss you for sure. i so much enjoy reading your posts. i love how you state things.

however, i also understand how life gets busy. and i totally understand the alzheimer's thing. i've thought that of myself more than a few times.

congrats on the house! yup, it certainly puts things in perspective. budgets are a good thing i learned.

you will be missed and i will check often for your return.


At 6:50 AM, Anonymous Jennie said...

Wow - I can see why you're feeling overwhelmed at the moment. I've definitely missed your blog, but will anxiously await your return. You'll at least post pictures from the wedding, right???

I loved your paragraph about wanting to live in response to what you believe about life - I concur.

At 9:09 AM, Anonymous hans said...

You sound really healthy, Mary. I'm really happy for you.


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