forget abc's the bachelor

jamie slid off the bar stool and slipped slowly into his long, camel-colored wool coat. he patted the backs of the boys at the table and kissed the girls' cheeks, catching their gaze long enough to say goodbye and express how much he'd enjoyed seeing all of them. he sauntered over to me and asked if i'd be taking the brown line home, and, if yes, could he accompany me to the station. i agreed, and slid off my bar stool, which was followed by the echo of the seven others at our table getting on their feet carefully after an evening of sangria and tapas and throwing on their own coats.

i've known jamie for 3 and a half years. when i first met him, i had only heard of him through a friend of his (henry) who i'd enjoyed having a temporary crush on. i expected jamie to be much like henry, and so was surprised when jamie had turned out to be quieter, more formal and actually rather poor at conversation, relying more on looks that seemed to express his intent that no, i had it wrong, i would be the one to divulge all the details of my life, and he would be the one to ask all the questions.

whether my memory of that first encounter is correct or not (in all honesty, i had fallen asleep on my hand in my hotel room right before i'd met him and was particularly consumed with the fear he'd notice the fingerprints and ring designs imprinted on the right hand side of my face), my interactions with him since have better rounded out my impression.

at 5'11" with reddish-brownish hair and a well-groomed beard, jamie is handsome enough - especially with his glasses. he introduces himself as though you've already earned his respect, something you sense you've given him without ever even thinking about it. his haughty eyes can be forgiven, since his laugh and do-gooderness are quick to chime in and put you at ease. his education is outstanding, his family relations admirable, and his success is indeed enviable.

jamie is the perfect bachelor.

but here's the catch - i think he also knows he's the perfect bachelor.

since i've known him, jamie has seriously dated no fewer than 8 women. and oh yes, they're all a type. not his type, i'd argue, but a type nonetheless.

on our ride home together this evening, i spoke about a friend of mine who's probably the most outdoorsy woman i've ever met. as i described a recent adventure she'd taken, jamie's eyes lit up: "wow, she sounds exactly like the kind of girl i'd want to be with." absolutely. jamie LOVES all sports, all things outdoors, all volunteer work, all things that embrace life.

but has jamie ever dated a sporty girl? an outdoorsy girl? a volunteering girl? no. but every girlfriend of his who i've met has definitely had their intention on embracing something. it just happens to be him. he plays soccer? she (#7) cheers him on from the stands in a modern day laura ashley dress. he backpacks across the states? she (#4) resists accompanying him, but begs him to call her everyday from the road (don't ask me how i know this, but trust me). he dreams big? she dreams of simply being his.

in all honesty, it's a little heartbreaking.

i have to wonder, does he not want to try dating the girl of his dreams and find she's not all he hoped? is he really hoping the "opposites attract" philosophy will eventually land him the love of his life? has he possibly so grown to love his own charm that the ability to woo is stronger than the desire to love? just questions, just questions.

before jamie got off at his stop tonight, henry came up in conversation and i asked jamie if he'd met his new girlfriend yet. "yeah," he said, offering a disapproving look. "she's ok."

"and how are things going with you and your girlfriend?" i countered. "this is still the one from the soccer game, right?"

"no, that ended awhile ago ..." he paused and stopped to look out the window as we approached the platform. "so this is my stop."

i smiled.

he returned the smile. "yeah, new girl. she's great. we'll see." he kissed my cheek and winked at me. "so i'll see you soon, right?"

i laughed. yes, mr. charm-is-deceptive, and how i'd like to kiss your cheek goodnight, tell you that i have a soft spot in my heart for you, and then praise god that i'm not dating you.

"yeah, jamie," i said, stifling a loving chuckle. "see you soon."