worth and value

i leave tomorrow morning for michigan with 25 high schoolers. we'll take the 4 1/2 hour train ride together east and spend the weekend at a conference at the university there. this is the fourth time i've taken this trip - and may very well be the last - so i look forward to it rather bittersweetly.

it's too late for me to be writing now. i have yet to pack, but i've just gotten home from dinner with annie and, as it always happens when i meet her, i have so much on my mind i couldn't possibly sleep. i made sure to order a drink so that my body would put me to sleep if my mind tried to argue against it. i'm sure my fingers will stop typing so quickly soon enough, but i figured i'd write while i've still got juice in me ...

i sit across from annie at uncommon ground. this is our meeting place. i haven't seen my favorite waiter there in ages, which i'm guessing means he's moved on to different things. i miss him, though i am learning to develop affections for the newest group of servers. change is good, i think.

annie agrees. after years of rallying against it, she's decided that change is, in fact, a good thing. the daughter of parents who dedicated their lives to improving the quality of life for people identified as disabled, annie has recently begun to see where activism and determination can potentially lead. she speaks with such passion, so that i am readily inclined to clap or shout her last name in repitition as she goes.

annie says that all she really wants is validation. she can do without praise or the like, but affirmation that, yes, she may indeed have a point? she craves it. i know i do.

someone tell me my thoughts are worthwhile, that i might be on to something, that i could offer something to the world, that my life isn't in vain.

what does it mean to validate someone's existence? to speak to their worth? to not have to agree with everything they think, say, do, but to acknowledge that they ARE?

i'm gonna practice it this weekend. 25 hormonal teenagers and me. wish me luck.