hinting at fulfillment

it's taken me awhile, but i finally got to hear diana krall. how have i not heard her before? ridiculous. granted the first song i'm hearing is her cover of billy joel's "just the way you are," but it is beautiful to me this morning. it fits my mood.
really ...

this morning, i woke up feeling glorious. the kind of glorious when your insides feel alive and the air you breathe smells clean and your body feels 15 lbs lighter than it did the day before. i woke up in the middle of the bed, limbs sprawled out in all directions, snuggled into the second skin of my jersey sheets and felt like i owned the world. i took a deep breath, letting my chest be pulled up to the sky by an imaginary string, closed my eyes and let the early morning blue light rest on my face. oh, i felt alive. i felt ready. i felt glorious.

i pushed off the covers, stepped lightly onto the hardwood floors, crossed the hallway to kat's room, pushed open her door and exclaimed, "it's friday! it's beautiful outside! i love it!"

now, i don't know if i'd call myself a morning person, but there's something about the dawn that dusk lacks. i wish i could find out what it really is. do i feel more hopeful in the morning than at night? do i feel like more is possible? i don't know. and maybe it's just the sun. my favorite part of the day may just be when the sun wakes up so early in the summer. there's nothing like that.

it pulls my favorite dream to the forefront of my mind, of what i imagine heaven will be for me ... all of my closest friends spending a night around the campfire, listening to someone fiddle on the guitar, people loving each other unconditionally, unafraid, seeking jesus' heart, stars shining brighter than they ever have, staying up all night and holding a nutty cup of coffee while watching the sun come up. i imagine it more real than anything, so i think it must be a dream just waiting to be fulfilled in heaven. i imagine it is the dream god planted in my heart so he could reveal it to me someday when we're together in person, when i can see him in his real form, next to me, around me, in me, about me, everywhere, omnipresent, and felt in a way i couldn't comprehend on earth with my limited mind.

with Him, with you, this dream feels like a hint at the fulfillment of all the hopes and expectations and dreams and desires i've had on this earth. it will be you and me and Him and all of us finally complete. finally at peace. finally glorious.