sorry, cullen.

let's discuss sarcasm for a second.

Main Entry: sar·casm
Pronunciation: 'sär-"ka-z&m
Function: noun
Etymology: French or Late Latin; French sarcasme, from Late Latin sarcasmos, from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer.
1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2 : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual

is it a bad habit? the robot penguin contends that isn't: "It's called having a sense of humor. And making a joke at someone else's expense is better than no joke at all." gURL.com polled its readers and found 789 "dig" it and only 70 "diss" it. of 459 christian youth workers polled, 53.2% of those polled claimed to "teach youth that sarcasm is bad." so, it's subjective?

when i was a senior in high school, i sat with three others at the most sarcastic table in our english classroom. we spent the afternoons tearing into each other all in good fun. my best friend and i would often team up against lance and cullen, but it almost always came down to me and cullen really pushing each other's buttons. i figured it was because we were just that clever. we liked each other alright. no harm done.

a few weeks before our last day of school, mrs. sinkler asked us to contribute questions about anything we'd read or learned in english class that year and the best would appear on our oral final. naturally, the four of us dreamnt up questions dripping in sarcasm that somehow involved each of us. cullen would reference kafka's the metamorphasis, asking, "if mary were a caterpillar ..." and, well, if you've read the book, you can imagine his questions. i'd retort with something that would cut to the quick of cullen, and we'd all get a good laugh.

fast forward to the last day of school. mrs. sinkler calls me up front and asks me to select a question off the multi-page final. it was very informal, you see, everyone kind of getting a chance to speak off the cuff. i chose, "what is immaturity?" i smiled at cullen, and dug in. i was funny, i was ruthless. and he was laughing. no problem.

and then she called him up. i expected the same thing in return - a sharp, biting, sarcastic response that would rake me over the coals. he smiled at me, and then chose a question to which the answer could be anything BUT sarcastic. i stared at him dumbfounded. he finished without flair, and sat down.

two days later, we graduated.

it's been 8 years, but that moment has stuck with me. i'd been praised for my sarcasm all through high school. i'd engaged in it happily. and in one completely unexpected moment, i'd been made the jerk. i'd cut into someone and no one cut into me. i felt like a punk.

during my freshman year of college, a few of my friends (who remain my best friends to this day) and i made a pact to avoid sarcasm as best we could. if christ had asked us to use our words to encourage, comfort, love, then, well, we were gonna do that.

on the youth group poll site listed above, one of the youth workers claims that he uses sarcasm regularly, noting that jesus employed it often, and citing matthew 16:21-28 as his example. maybe i'm not seeing it. i'll guess he was referencing this:

22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. "Never, Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!" 23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

is that jesus trying to cut into peter? to bring him pain? i don't know.

i guess i think of sarcasm as that satirical or ironic utterance that differentiates itself from wit (astuteness of perception or judgment; the ability to relate seemingly disparate things so as to illuminate or amuse) because sarcasm involves the intent to cut. i know jesus was clever. i know he had a master grasp of every rhetorical tool in the box. but when i read scripture, i just think his intent was always, always, always for the ultimate purpose of LOVING us.

and to me, that translates as ...

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.