heaven wrote a letter, pt 1

tuesday afternoon, 4:44 p.m.

i am getting ready to leave the office, but figure i don't want to be behind the computer later on tonight so i'm blogging before i leave. there's a lot going on in my head and trying to figure out what should be said (filter? filter? i have to use a filter? ugh) is going to be a challenge. so, i've decided to present my thoughts in installations. i'm not sure how many there'll be. bear with me. and enjoy ... "heaven wrote a letter, pt 1."

since sunday night, when my roommates and i visited another house of roommates for dinner, i've had these BIG things on my mind. as we sat around their fireplace (note to self: next apartment WILL have a fireplace), we chatted about dreams and risks. the conversation ended when chris got up to leave, but my mind, my heart stayed on this idea of risk for hours afterwards.

we drove home at 11:30. i went to bed to journal, to cry, to beg for answers, to ask for some glimpse of WHAT-IN-THE-WORLD-I-SHOULD-BE-DOING, and got not a wink of sleep. not a wink.

i woke up the next morning with the puffiest eyes you could ever imagine. i threw some ice cubes in a ziploc and held them against my eyes while i dried my hair. nothing going. i caked on makeup for the circles under my eyes, but i think little invisible elves with black permanent markers must have snuck into my room and drawn deep lines under my eyes that makeup can't cover up. ugh.

my colleagues at work said, "go home! you look awful," to which i kindly smiled, batted my swollen eyelids, and said, "oh, thank you. you look awful as well."

geez, some people.