wax on, wax out

this morning i had a doctor's appointment to get my Hep A shot before i leave for china on saturday. i haven't been in to see a doctor in maybe 3 or 4 years, so i took great delight in the little things. my blood pressure is excellent, i'm an inch taller than i thought, and i weigh 3 pounds less than i enter in on those workout machines at the Y. i take pride in the fact that i've only been to the hospital post-birth once for a broken finger and am happy to report that i'm not allergic to any medications. i glowed as i responded to the doctor's questions.

"besides this little stuffy nose," i remarked gaily, my feet swinging against the chair, "i'm feeling great. all i need is the needle and i'll be on my way."

"little stuffy nose, hey? why don't we take a look at that ..." she said as she scurried for her little doctor devices. i don't remember it very clearly, but i'm sure she laughed sinisterly under her breath.

turns out she couldn't see through my left ear because of wax blockage. she suspects it's from my november trip to key largo during which i spent an entire day listening to shelly like she was talking to me through an empty paper towel roll. the salt could have aggravated it. essentially, i've spent 4 months with poor hearing. sweet.

she emptied a bottle of liquid mixture down my ear while i rested on the right side of my body. i had to wait 10 minutes until the wax was soft enough that she could suck it up. as i waited there, she took my strep culture test to the lab. "we won't know before you leave today," she said when she returned, "but i'll give you a call when the results are in. i'm guessing you don't have strep, but since your body shows the early signs of ear infection, flu and the common cold, we might as well double check."

while she counted down the remaining minutes till suckage, i carefully managed to pull off the left side of my shirt so the shot nurse could come stab me with the Hep A needle.

she took what looked like a craftsman drill to the side of my head and told me to hold a cup by my ear to catch the wax piece (seriously, is this really the latest medical technology?). i don't know exactly what the drill did except slosh the water around a little in my head, but on the third attempt, a stubborn little piece of wax fell out. sad that it's passe not to keep it like you do a tooth ...

for as unexpected of a morning as that was, i really enjoyed my visit to the doctor's office. all the stabbing and draining and drilling really makes you feel like your body is alive, you know? i think i'll try to go back again soon.