Saturday, April 09, 2005

36

i shouldn't be typing yet this morning. i'm still sitting in my robe with my towel turbaned around my head (and yes, it IS 10:45 in the morning), but roommate 1 is in the shower and roommate 2 has yet to emerge from her room, so i feel no inward reprimand to get on with my day. the only thing that may make me move is the gnawing hunger in my stomach, but as i've reminded it, we have no breakfast food in this house so it will simply have to wait until lunch. period.

i've been wanting to write for awhile, but even taking a lunch break to update my blog has been impossible. since i spoke with my boss and another colleague about potentially leaving at the end of the summer, i've felt a new interest in my job. they both have been decidedly disappointed to hear my frustrations and have counteracted with endless messages of encouragement and affirmation in the work i'm doing. i admit, i feel more energized and more inspired. in fact, i see how it's drifted over to other parts of my life, so that i feel consistent in attitude and mood in every aspect of the day-to-day. that's a pretty wonderful place to be.

i used to have weeks like this in college. weeks where all my conversations went right, where i could study to the point of really learning, where my roommates and i were completely selfless in doing each other's dishes, making meals for each other, listening before speaking. it was incredible. these days, i feel like these moments are few and far between. but i think it's because my actions carry a lot more weight now. i don't get to see friends as often as i used to, so when i do, i feel like i need to be ultra-aware of their needs, their heart's positioning, their dreams.

hmm, i don't know for sure if this is what i am thinking. i'm still wrestling with my thoughts to get to the root of it and then dig it up. bear with me ...

in other news, the movie blue crush ranks easily among the worst-acting movies i've ever seen, in the same vein as centerstage and you got served (which i've never seen, but according to my roommate erin who i polled for bad-acting movies is salvaged only by the hip-hop battles). not only does blue crush make me never want to surf, it also makes me think of drowning, which makes me think of the titanic and driving over bridges - all which easily could easily lead to ill-timed death. i'm just saying ...

and finally, it's 11:07 and my feet are starting to freeze. i forgot to take them into account when i was disciplining my stomach, so now i think they are feeling angry with me and want to be stuffed into wool socks. i should really just go outside and melt them on the blacktop in the sun. oooh, the sun ... time to go.

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