the relationship is with the institution
my boss informed me yesterday morning that i'd be getting an assistant starting next monday. he proceeded to share that i'd hand over to her a share of my responsibilities, including ones i'd rather not give her. when i smiled in disbelief at his sudden snatch of my assignments and a dozen or so of my constituent relationships, he added "mary, the relationship is with the institution, not with you." at this, i nearly emitted an ever-so-slight chuckle. nearly.
let me back up a second. up until that conversation, i had been enjoying a recent ego massage from my alumni, feeling warmly appreciated and recognized for my work. i'm a words person, so getting encouraging emails and phone-call kudos persuaded me to consider - if just for a brief moment - staying on for a little while longer. or at the very least, persuaded me to consider NOT thinking about how quickly the end of july - and the potential end of my season in this job - is approaching. but this conversation threw me back into reality.
the thing is, i don't agree with the philosophy tom furnished me about the relationship being with the institution ... not in the way he meant it. i mean, as i discussed with a colleague later that afternoon, i'm certainly not prostituting myself in order to secure involvement - financial or otherwise - with the institution, or trying to win friends so i can have a really big birthday bash for my 25th (which is july 30th, by the way). i just like people and i like to get to know them and i like to hear their stories about life, about work, about their other relationships, about things they really love. that's just how i connect with people. my position, in my understanding of it, requires that i do more than introduce the 1969 architecture, laced with all its shiny, pillared athletic trophies and crowned with its thousands of academic accolades, to each constituent who breezes in through my gray, 4' cubicle walls; no, my position requires that i make each person feel welcome, valued, important - because their stories combine with their peers' to create the story of "the institution." THEY are the institution. their teachers are the institution. the staff is the institution. WE are the institution.
so though my boss, as my colleague suggested, might have intended to backhandedly compliment me on the depth of my relationships with these constituents ("because he's scared you really ARE going to leave your job"), his comment simply added to the growing list of reasons why i believe it might just be that time to move on.
i like people. i like to listen to them. i like to laugh with them. i like to host parties for them. i like to make them feel like they've got a connection to their past that allows them to look back at it without being choked by it. i like to introduce them to each other. i like to make them feel that they belong.
everything's for a season, i believe, and maybe it's time now for a new relationship with a new "institution." bittersweet.
hmm, but that's life.
posted by Mary @ 11:08 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
nonsense, the relationship is with you. if there was not a fantastic lady like you leading the alumnus... they would be skrewed. it's true. keep up the good work. but at the same time there is nothing wrong with looking for change in the future. maybe you'll get a new job as a birthday present. that could help you forget that your favoritest person won't be with you on your birthday AGAIN this year. hum... knowing how much your birthday means to you means i'm probably not so much your favoritest person anymore. or maybe i never was, but you don't have to tell me, kay?!
hey jem - i'm actually in alumni relations for a private school. it really is an incredible job and one that i would encourage anyone to go into. there aren't very many of us in alumni relations in private day school settings, so it's a hard position to explain, but essentially, it involves volunteer management, event planning, relationship-building, website-maintenance, communications/publicity, and all sorts of bizarre things i never expected. it's incredible.
I think it is a backhanded compliment. I mean, if they think you might be leaving, they have to protect themselves against any potential waning interest or support on the part of certain alumni who may have become just as loyal to you as they are to the institution. I mean, it's a cold and unfeeling thing to say, but your boss is just protecting himself and the institution, which you may choose to leave. Who can blame them? But that is simply an indirect testament to the fantastic job you have done in relating to people in the past few years!
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