scattered thoughts

saturday, july 16th. 11:30 pm.

after a slow morning here, erin, jenn and i went out for a late lunch at coobah's. red sangria, jamaican jerk chicken salad, and quality company make for a sweet afternoon. and it was made extra wonderful topped off with mason jennings playing at the neighborhood festival a few blocks just west of us.

it's true. mason jennings is a beautiful man with a beautiful voice. and he plays the harmonica. double bonus. but it's chris morrissey who steals my heart every time i see him play. he's the skinniest guy, very twiggy. and unlike my roommate erin, i'm not drawn to real skinny boys. but there's something about his crouched over bass-playing, his fro-y hair (cut shorter for summer), and his obvious passion for music that make me think i'd move back to minneapolis just to become friends with him. or pick him up in my (imaginary) car, drive out to marin county north of san francisco, and start a vineyard with him. i love people who love things.
--
sunday, july 17th. 10:30 p.m.

a full day. i woke up this morning with a bad dream. i was taking a bunch of kids to madrid with the two chaperones i traveled to china with. my hotel room was on a different floor than theirs. i got in, and had a bad feeling almost immediately. but started getting ready for bed just the same until two drunk men started pounding on my door and began opening it. i ran to it, leaned hard to close it but couldn't find a way to lock it. they were intent on coming in. i woke up uncomfortable and afraid. it left me with that ill at ease feeling that makes any day difficult.

the day was a polar day. really great ups and pretty low downs. i won't get into it. suffice it to say it's days like this i'm well aware that i get by by god's strength alone. i often feel like god's hand is ever present, steering me, carrying me, pointing ahead for me. i rely on him.

tonight, i feel much better than i did this morning. drinks and dinner with good friends out on the beach, and then arriving home to see my wonderful roommate katherine home after a week away. my heart is still heavy with thought, but my feet feel steady on this rock.
--
and one last thought before i close this up for the night and get me to bed, i've decided on the top four male movie characters to fall in love with:

1. christian bale in batman begins
2. daniel day-lewis in the last of the mohicans
3. patrick swayze in dirty dancing
... and okay, okay, ONLY in a REAL moment of weakness ...
4. ben affleck in armageddon

ahhh, sweet dreams for me (lord, please let it be the five of us hanging out and NOT me chatting with one man dressed as a bat, carrying a spear, and doing the mambo while drilling for oil ... please. i need better dreams than that).