pressure (OR) struggle & the city (OR) why my heart looks like my bedroom

pressure vs. presher
so i've been under a little (self-inflicted?) pressure lately. perhaps pressure is the wrong word. nope, i checked merriam-webster. pressure is the right word.

pressure (n):
1 a : the burden of physical or mental distress b : the constraint of circumstance : the weight of social or economic imposition
2 : the stress or urgency of matters demanding attention : EXIGENCY
3 : a sensation aroused by moderate compression of a body part or surface

yes. i've been under a little pressure.

hmmm, who i was having this conversation with recently? creating an entire city to spell and read and write phoenetically? let's be honest, shouldn't pressure really be spelled "presher"? that looks more real to me. it feels like pressure should feel. yes, presher. it looks like some new meat pulverizing tool for the kitchen that should be featured as the free gift with purchase on chef tony's miracle blade III perfection series of knives saturday afternoon infomercial on channel 9.

when you first feel under presher, i think the best thing to do is cry. get it out. this is because this is the only thing i know how to do when i'm under presher. unless i let out my tears, i won't be able to see straight.

stage 2 of presher lets me get loud. i know i've hit it when i can bear sullen & depressing music no more and unconsciously tune into the strokes or david bowie & queen or just play ben harper or jeff buckley really loudly. which is actually what i'm doing right now. my roommates got me the jeff buckley live in chicago at the metro dvd for my birthday, and how i do love to watch it.

here's this real skinny, falsetto-reaching, average-looking white boy who can seriously rock. c'mon, really, is there anything in the world like watching a man in love with his music? a man who grins at his bandmates before they break into "last goodbye"? oh, yes, rock on.

i wonder what kind of music he'd be putting out now if he were still alive.

anyway, so that's where i'm at. rockin' out tonight. playing my jeff buckley loud enough for the neighbors who play their green day loud enough for me. it's fair.

stage 2 presher is way cathartic.

aiight. i'll get to points 2 and 3 later. jeff's about to play the second best song of all time. i'm out.