heaven wrote a letter, part 2

the thing with part 2s is that i never have the energy to trudge back into it. so this is really no part 2. this is like the fake part 2. the heaven wrote a letter, part deux.

the truth is, when all is said and done, i want to share the things in my heart verbally, you know? it's hard to write and not get an immediate reaction. so monday night, when i came home early from work and after my 210 minute nap, i shared my heart with my roommates. i know i go off about this all the time, bragging about how incredible my roommates are, but it continues to amaze me.

okay, for real, let's wrap this sucker up. the truth is, sunday night, i lay in bed thinking, why can't god just really come talk with me?? and why can't he write everything we talked about on a piece of paper and leave it for me to read in the morning? you know, to verify that, yes, indeed, he did come and we did talk.

so ... monday night, i got into bed at a little after 11 and lay there until about 1:30, unable to sleep. i tossed and turned, trying to pray. i had so much on my mind, so much about leaving this job, so much about what happens if i fail, what happens if i lose everything and am miserable? so i thought about what - if anything - i feel god's ever told me before. and i turned to isaiah 62:5 (it's a verse i feel god talked to me a lot through for years in college and one of the reasons now why i am afraid god is a liar).

essentially, it says "as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your god rejoice over you." the whole chapter is awesome, but i sat there thinking about it. and i threw it out to god, tossed and turned some more, and tried to start a dialogue with him (or he tried to start a dialogue with me, however you want to say it). and we talked about so much, that i thought, good, well, we talked about it, i feel better, i'm ready to go to sleep.
let me go to sleep.

but i couldn't sleep, and so i turned on my light and i wrote down everything that we had talked about. and as soon as i finished, i thought, good, now i'll be able to sleep. well, about half an hour later or so, i finally fell asleep (finally). and tuesday morning, i woke up and felt abnormally well rested - even with less than 5 hours of sleep under my belt - and thought, i wrote it down! i wrote down my conversation with god last night! i wrote down everything we talked about! maybe i'm on crack and this is total ridiculousness, but it's what i prayed! i mean, i asked god sunday night to please talk with me in my bed and then write it down. but i wrote it down, he kept me awake till i wrote it down and would remember that we had this conversation!

awesome. awesome. awesome.
okay, so that's a good part deux after all.