it's just a list

it's how my mind works. random clips, montages taken from the following scenes, and played back here to the soundtrack of kim taylor. i'm thinking about ...

... how much i loved walking up green bay trail in wilmette with jon yesterday. i love getting to know someone so well.
... my conversation with laura this morning about her interest in immigration reform. and just talking on the phone with her. it had been awhile.
... hanging out with erin this afternoon while i cleaned my room. just being in the same room with someone is satisfying, but to be with erin who i love is even more satisfying.
... my dad did my taxes and just sent them to me for my review. it's awesome to have a dad who cares that much that he's still willing to help his 25-year-old daughter do something like this.
... my mom who passed along a resume for a friend i'm just getting to know. little networking things like that mean a big deal to me.
... dinner with jon's brother joel and his girlfriend shannon last week. and dinner with maria and mike on friday. it's fun to be with couples who like people a lot :)
... moving to honduras. or rwanda. or uganda. for a couple years. to get out of what i know and am comfortable with. because there are things beyond the midwest that my heart loves to care for. and i'd like to be there to experience it firsthand.
... the invisible children movie. it left me angry with god, frustrated with the u.s., and upset with my own disgusting consumerist mindset. it also left me hopeful about people, in awe of god's greatness in every way i can only now imagine, and convinced that that was not the end of my relationship with those realities.
... how much i'd like to not be thinking about my skin right now.
... how my life will come to an end just like everyone else's. and that god is way more capable of handling my worry than i will ever be.
... my roommate kat in north carolina.

whenever i write down all i'm thinking, i want to both laugh and cry. doesn't it ever amaze you that god could make beings so complex that they can think a million thoughts and still know so little? it makes me want to laugh that i'm so naive to think i have SO much on my mind of consequence, and it makes me cry that god could still care so much about me when i care so little for him.

i'm sorry it takes me so long, god. but i'm oh-so-happy that you are always waiting for me.